Thursday, May 31, 2012

When Should You Yield To The “Stop Signs”?

Guest Post by Gilda Evans:

You know, those little warning signs that rear their heads in the early stages of a relationship. Sometimes we pay attention but, more often than not, we choose to ignore them for one reason or another.  We’re lonely and in need of the companionship, we’ve spent far too may nights alone in bed, we’re so physically attracted to the other person we’re willing to overlook a lot (at least for a while), and so on.  But, eventually, the little gremlins accumulate and turn into monsters we can’t ignore and the relationship falters.  That’s not to say that relationships don’t take work – of course they do.  They require nurturing and tender, loving care just like any living, growing thing.  If you pay attention to your instincts, you can usually sense when there is a true potential for a promising romance to ensue.  Sometimes though, we’re dealing with a relationship that was dead on arrival, and we need to learn to blow taps over it before things begin to fester and get smelly!  Oh, if only we’d acted on our gut feelings when things were less complicated and it was easier to back out of the relationship calmly and quickly.  Often it’s more likely you will recognize those early warning signs when someone else mentions them.  So here are a few pet peeves of my own that I’ve experienced over the years…and it’s amazing how common some of them can be.  After you’ve read mine, I’d love to know a few of yours too!

- He’s way too controlling about things – where you go on a date, where you sit in the restaurant, what route you take to drive somewhere.  And he seems to know things like when you go online and where you go during the day, to the point of almost being a stalker.

- What’s yours is his.  You order a drink in the restaurant and he wants to taste it – suddenly half your drink is gone.  When the waiter asks if you want another, you say yes and suggest he get one too.  But he’d rather share yours again…and when it gets to the table he takes the first gulp.

- He doesn’t do holidays.  Excuse me?  This one especially gets to me when he has kids but Christmas or Chanukah aren’t on his to-do list.  And birthdays?  Forget about it.

- Every gift he buys you – if you’re lucky enough to get one – is practical.  Lingerie?   Jewelry?  A nice dinner out?  How about just a romantic dinner at home with a nice bottle of wine, a massage and a sexy dvd?  Nope.  Hey, nothing says “I love you” like a sharp set of steak knives!

Ok…your turn!

GILDA EVANS is an experienced dater, wife, mother and bon vivant extraordinaire who started her first business while in college at the age of 20, which she sold at a profit when she was 24.  Winning her first poetry contest at the tender age of 9 and her first essay contest at 10, writing and speaking have always been natural forms of expression for her.

Her first business was followed by two years of teaching lighting design at the prestigious Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles.  The long and winding road then led Gilda to begin her stint as a television writer/producer/director, working for such venues as CBS, HBO, Showtime and Warner Brothers.  It was during this time that she also met and married her children’s father.  Twelve plus years and three Emmy and Ace award nominations later, Gilda left the TV industry to devote herself to her family.

Unfortunately, the happily ever after was not to be back then, and after a fourteen year marriage she found herself going through a divorce.  It was at that point she decided to reinvent herself and her career.  Her myriad of experiences comes to the forefront in GIRL TALK…a book series twenty years in the making whose time has finally come!  As Gilda likes to say, “I have a PhD in relationships from the school of life!”  She is also working on a YA novel series, THE ALTERNATES.

Please visit Gilda’s website at

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Kellie Elmore's Tumbleweed - Guest Post

I recently read and reviewed Kellie Elmore's newly released book MAGIC IN THE BACKYARD and was intrigued by her poem "Tumbleweed" so I asked her to stop by my blog and give me the lowdown on what inspired her to write it. Thanks, Kellie for indulging me and visiting my blog!

She saw her life as a
tired progression; exciting as
a Cannes film about some trailer park
in the middle of the desert,
she watched it running past her
like a tumbleweed, leaving her
in the dust. Trapped—in this
desolate town with dreams falling
from her fingertips and hope
from her eyes, but where
would that highway take her?
Where—would it lead if
she jumped on its back in
a spontaneous effort to find
something greater than
what she knew, and would she
even recognize it after being
blinded by the numbered, un-named
signs that line this county, or
would there fall on her a sick and
un-digestible feeling of remorse in
the realization that ghosts will
follow you no matter where you
run, and hiding is not an option.
Home—this is home, she thought,
and the craving for greener grass
will never be satisfied until she
takes time to tend to the weeds.

Tumbleweed was written during one of those times when I felt the need to "run". I think we all go through periods in life where the grass looks greener on the other side. Life can become monotonous and boring and we find ourselves dreaming of new places, somewhere where no one knows your name. A place where you can just start over fresh and become someone else, someone you always wanted to be. That was the idea behind this poem.
Instead of running, I began to write about running. I got my pen and wrote in free verse all that I was feeling, everything that was overwhelming me and the reasons why I thought "running away" would fix it. There were so many dreams within my words but, for the most part, it was filled with excuses and nothing I was saying was a good enough reason to just go. I found that all my problems had a solution. All the little things that were suffocating me were being brought to the surface and I was finding that I could repair them all right here at home but, that would be the hard way. I had to convince myself that though running would be an easy way out, of this town, of the struggles I was facing, it would not bring happiness. So, I started to weigh the pros and cons, and I realized that while I may rid myself of some of the old, I would be bringing on new problems and how would that be better?
So, what I learned from this exercise was that it's all about removal...You have to find whatever it is that's holding you down and tend to it and if you can't fix it (with reasonable effort) then the only other option is to get rid of it completely.  You cannot stay in bad relationships, do work that isn't fulfilling, continue down the same paths and expect things to just change. YOU have to make it happen...and most of the time, it begins with yourself.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Happiness is inside of you...and so is sadness. It doesn't matter where you go, you take it with you. If you are not happy at home, you will not be happy on a beautiful beach, by the bluest waters, on a tropical island either. Your ghosts will follow you, until you make peace with them and set them free. Pluck out the weeds from your life and you will have room to grow toward the sunshine.

Kellie Elmore is a writer who knows no bounds. She believes self-expression is most beautiful in its pure, raw and unedited form. “No rules, just write” is her motto.
Kellie finds inspiration in nature and in the humble surroundings of her “backyard” – Southeast Tennessee. Through poetry and prose, Kellie writes freely about cherished and magical moments as well as tragic losses. Her goal is to take readers back, rekindle a memory or elicit a feeling. Charles Bukowski wrote, “If it doesn’t burst out of you, don’t do it.” Kellie agrees and states, “If it were not for my pen, I would explode! Writing is my happy pill.”  Join Kellie as she writes her way through life’s journey – magic in the backyard…Visit Kellie's website at

Magic in the Backyard
COPYRIGHT © 2012 by Kellie Elmore
Excerpt appears courtesy of Winter Goose Publishing